All I want is You

You made me hollow inward
Gave me a bucket of tears.
Sleep cruelly eludes me,
Anxiety my constant companion.

Depressed, I turn to You
To find You loving me.
You held me in Your arms,
the sweetness of Your embrace.

Darkness pursued and
Confusion followed.
For it was to be a
Time of gleaning and cleansing.
Tears of sorrow rained,
As I saw my wretched state.
Blessed are all who put
Their trust in the Lord.

You carried me through
With everlasting arms.
Gave me parents full of godly wisdom,
And friends in my loneliness.
Fear wanted to imprison me,
But in Christ, she has no place.
Prayers desperate,
Yet You heard them all.

A ray of light and
A gleam of hope.
My darkness broke and
Your joy prevailed.

"A miracle!" I cry
"My God is so good!"
All glory unto Him,
All praises are His only.

I have just gone through almost a week of depression, of which symtoms include sleeplessness and loss of appetite. "Buckets of tears" wet my pillow and for many days, i cried out to the Lord for help. His Word was comforting and His strength amazing. It was an unusual time of testing in which I have learnt to depend and trust deeply in the Lord. I am weak but my God is strong. All glory be the Lord. Amen!

My IRRITATING upper ear piercing

A lot of my friends don't know this, actually i don't have a lot of them anyway, I had a ear piercing on my right upper ear in early July. It's no biggie but surprisingly to my Christian friends, those who know, were surprised and some even started to tell me that such piercing can lead to blindness! haha..

So why did i do it??? First of all, i met two good friends in JC who have pierced their upper ears and i liked the look of it. It took me 6 months thinking about it before i went to 77th street to get that 5-buck pierce. (must understand I come from a conservative and Christian background!) After i did it, i had a tiny, tiny inkling on why people do tattoos, piercings and body modifications: It makes u feel proud of what you have, and contrast that with feeling proud of WHAT YOU'RE WEARING or WHAT YOU'VE DONE. basically it's different. (anyway, i'm super against such things not really because it's shocking but because the Bible tells us not to hurt our bodies purposely)

Do i regret it? Well, a little. A week after the piercing, i suffered an infection; there was pus, some blood and LOTS of pain. My MUMMY gently cleaned it up for me, she was so nice about it, hardly told me off at all. After that, i inserted a thin plastic ear stick in. Another 2 weeks later, i swopped the ear stick for a pretty ear stud my friend bought for me. GET THIS: I had another infection the next day. so sue me pleeeeease. In the whole commotion, i lost that pretty ear stud.

Today, my ear hole still remains, i kept it unclosed with the ear stick. Just in the afternoon, i swopped it for the original ear stud i pierced it with. Because the ear stick is transparent, I don't think either Pris has been able to notice it. For the last 2 and a half months, I haven't been able to sleep on my right side, which is my favourite side as well. :( oh sigh.

the irritant

Grey Areas

During yesterday's leaders' meeting in church, just the youth, we had a heated discussion about grey areas. It was exciting, because youth leaders like us have the tendency to just keep quiet when Ps Aaron speaks, forgetting we have a mouth and an opinion each.

Grey areas,especially for Christians, are tricky aspects about life which we have no hard and fast answers for. WE all know we shouldn't have pre-marital sex, no murdering and the like. But what about drinking (just a TEENY bit?), movies (you don't expect us to watch only Pixar animations) and even something artsy but wrong? In June, i watched this live performance at Esplanade called Blue Love... this is the shocking part: there was a nude scene. OK, to explain myself, i didn't really take note of the warning which said 'some nudity, not for those aged below 16' when i bought the tix. Neither was I concerned about the 16-year-old limit, cos I'm 18! In the midst of Blue Love, therefore, i had to cover my eyes. (I loved the show btw)

My opinion about grey areas is everyone is free to do what he wants, but with freedom comes responsibility and the desire to honour God in every way. Preaching and teaching our sheep ultimately have their limits, every Christian must grapple with these issues themselves. Oh, don't forget too that there's also the Holy Spirit who will quicken our spirits to do what's right.

Girls' Night OUT

Haha, it's been a while since i blogged. I wanna forget my old blog, which i felt was too emo. Went out with Reb and Kelly yesterday and brought them to Glutton's Bay. The food's really good!!! We had Hokkien Mee, oyster omelette and satay!!! But it was costly too, i mean, for hawker fare standard.

Reb, Kelly and I agree that at our age (20, 19, 18) there's no better time to be excited about life. We talked about the future, a major concern was actually money. (Gasps, not guys apparently) All of us see ourselves in comfortable, luxurious homes and pampering ourselves to the max. Admittedly, there is something wrong with this image cos firstly, FEW, and i mean, really few can attain such a lifestyle. And why weren't we seeing ourselves as contributing inidivduals to the society?

We talked about guys, of course, which obviously there's no room for discussion here. THE main thing I wanna say is, life is really exciting (now), uncertain, thrilling and there's plenty of room for mistakes to be made, as well as regrets. Obviously I can't say I'm not gonna regret or make mistakes, inevitably I will.. so I'll put my trust in the Lord. In everything and for everything. I hoped that's what we three concluded for the night together.